Curing Yellow Fever
So I flew to Michigan for Memorial Day Weekend.
And, as everyone knows, when a male boards a plane, he prays that he gets seated next to either a) some hot Brazilian girl who speaks broken English, or b) an empty seat.
Any other scenario -- with the exception being if Jimmy Buffett decides to fly coach and you end up tossing back Coronas the whole flight -- sucks.
Well, to my extreme disappointment, Delta Airlines Flight 5631 from JFK to Detroit Metro Friday was full, I did not see any bronze-skinned beauties in need of English lessons, and The Coolest Man Alive was nowhere to be found anywhere near seat 4A.
Instead, I arrive at my aisle to find one of the fattest, smelliest dudes I have ever encountered in seat 4B.
Sonofabitch.
Not only did this guy smell like butt-hole, lockerroom and a garbage pick-up day in Manhattan all rolled into one, but he wanted to chat it up. I spent the following two hours gasping for air and pretending to be asleep at the same time, all the while, wishing, hoping, and making deals with the Big Guy, all in futility, that my flight did not get delayed.
I also spent a great deal of that time contemplating women whom I would pay anything to get a seat next to on an airplane.
So, in part because I missed the musician draft Thursday while seated next to Fatty McGee, today I present to you New York-born singer songwriter:
... Ok, I just heard the needle drop, and I get the picture. So she has clothes on. Fuck off. She's hot in my book.
Maybe Jaymay is not your high-profile J-Lo, Alicia Keys, or pre-train wreck Britney Spears, but, she can actually sing and play (gasp) at least two instruments. And I assume she has not had a train run on her by Eminem, Fred Durst, and/or Kid Rock. (Always a plus.--ed.)
And I hung out with her once after a show ... that is if you count sitting next to her while she promptly passed out on the table after about five minutes of witty banter.
She also has an exceptional rack.
7 comments:
Okay, first of all, your taste in women sucks. Clearly.
Second, you flew first class? I feel like seat 4A would be first class. Not that I would know from experience. But clearly if you're flying first class there's nothing you should be complaining about. Except your taste in women.
Intell - 4A on a Southwest or other cheapie flight just means you're in the front.
High Five - This one is ... questionable. Any time you're doubting yourself before the rest of us do, you're in trouble. I'm sure she's a nice girl though.
... When she's not passing out on the table.
passin out on the table just means u get to skip the rufie step
My brother, everybody! He'll be here all week, classy guy that he is.
Brooklyn Bitch: Delta seat 4A = window seat. Don't challenge my knowledge of life.
AH5: Your life.
Intellectibitch - I was saying it's possible it could have not been first class, based on my flying experience; I've been in row one and been coach. I made no mention of lateral placement.
However, you checked and it appears he flew first class, which is dope for High Five ... though I thought there was a FC ban on fatties.
First class? Are you guys f-ing serious? Who the hell flies first class?
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