Where You At? - Saved By the Bell Special Edition

Next up on the Bayside beauties list is the anti-token black girl. She may have still retained some sass, but some exec decided along the way that, "We want black, but not real black. We don't want to scare away any of our white viewers, but at the same time we don't want to be called out for only having white actors." Thus the ultra rich valley girl Lisa Turtle was born.

Lark Voorhies

I think Screech deserves the Visionary Thinking award for this find, having picked her out from the front of Ms. Bliss's class. Hopefully Lark is not the complete bitch that was Lisa: all about the Benjamins and rejecting the advances of the sexually desperate. However, there was that time that she and Zack shared a secret fling, thus proving that Zack was always ahead of us in his Laminated List pursuits.

Lark (we're on that first-name basis) went on to get quite a few acting roles. After Saved By the Bell, she managed to show up on Fresh Prince II along with a coupla soap operas. Appearances in such grand cinema as How to Be A Player and How High cemented her sex appeal as an older lass. Added to that, a third movie comin out soon will make her Film eligible. Also she may gain Video Vixen/Model eligibility for appearin' in Dru Hill, Boyz II Men, and Kenny Lattimore (who?) music videos. Not to mention her spots for Head and Shoulders back in the day.

But before I can leave you to pick her up, I gosta give some fair warnings.

1. She did commercials for Oxy-10, so heavy make-up may be needed.
2. Having once been engaged to Martin Lawrence, she probably likes it rough, so be prepared.
3. Married and has a child, so the vag may be at wind-tunnel status, meaning the possible beating might not be worth it.
4. Quit soap opera jobs cuz they required sex scenes and she's a J-hov's Witness. Unless you're married, Jesus, or Jay-Z, u prolly ain't gon get in.

Next week: We get to meet some High Schoolers.

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