Monday, December 3, 2007

The Loveseat Lowdown

This is an important message from an incensed football fan. Tom Brady and the rest of the Patriots have just been downgraded on the Laminated List for giving every red-blooded football fan blue balls. After a game which they should have completely lost, Brady makes a Goddamn TD pass that wasn't even fuckin complete(5:42). Then in a play that harkens back to Super Bowl XXXIV, the Ravens can't get that last fuckin yard to get the win on a hail mary pass (6:04). WTF! I have now known the pain that can only be described as the opposite of an orgasm. I don't give a shit how good at football your team is, there has never been a team as despised as 2007s New England Patriots. They are the generic asshole team of this sport. The Mets of Rookie of the Year. The White Sox of Major League. The Hawks of The Mighty Ducks. The friggin Alpha Betas of Revenge of the Nerds. "What do you expect us to do, kick a field goal?" NO, I expect you to get down on your knees and suck the cock of each and every zebra in existence for the fucking man-love you receive from the NFL's officiating staff. There has never been a team which deserved an undefeated season less than this year's fuckfest that is New England. I now know the pain shared by every team that has lost to the Yankees... all at the same time. I don't even like the fucking Ravens, but they were SO CLOSE! I can't blame it on their badass strategy of throwing penalty flags into the stands, either. They played some good football. The Patriots aint shit and they don't deserve shit. So I'd just like to thank Misters Brady and Belichick for letting me know what it's like to truly have feelings of hate in my heart.



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3 comments:

The Loveseat said...

sorry 4 the angry rant post. ill add some links and shiat later

Marshall said...

A-fucking-men. Its cool, i predict after the season the story breaks that they were infact making charitable donations to the officiating union. Then they will lose another draft pic but get to keep their superbowl rings.

The Loveseat said...

links are up now, so go crazy children and click away