So, was watching Planet Earth (the best series to grace... well, planet Earth) and I was surprised to find in one of their episodes an image of potential draftee Mary-Kate Olsen:
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Silly Loveseat, that's not her - that's a walking stick bug." But rest assured, I've done my research. And without makeup, in her natural habitat, BBC has caught Olsen in her natural glory.
I don't know what happened between the good ole days of Roman Goddesses and Elle Magazine, but at some point the femalien race decided to go on a crash diet. Maybe they think we want that 5-foot-10, 98-pound sex goddess, but there is only so much a living broom can be used for, and take it from Abner Louima, it's really not that sexy. (Our police precinct was AWESOME.--ed.) Some of these women look like their implants weigh more than they do. I really don't know how they keep standing.
I can understand the Mandy Moores out there who are what they always have been, but sometimes it's just dericulous. Yes, the Olsens were born tiny, but did they have to get the coked out look? (Mary-Kate wanted me to add "I will suck yo DICK!" Watch the hate on Ash, I'm a fan.--ed.)
Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Kate Moss, Calista Flockhart (yeah, you remember her), Lindsay Lohan, Keira Knightley (although, gimme an eyepatch and a parrot on my shoulder, and I would totally stick it to her... arrrrrrrr Seriously, can we go ONE post without mentioning either of those last two? Please?--ed.), Lara Flynn Boyle ... the list goes on. If you wanna add these girls to your draft list, issall good, but you might only get one chance - they could break on impact.