We're slacking ... We know

The posting has slowed a little, and it's mostly my bad - the ole iron grip as editor has become malleable. But enough bitching about being busy. Here's a nice lil sleeper TV Actress I spotted during a recent rerun of How I Met Your Mother:

Misti Traya

The almost-26-year-old scored two recurring character roles (Joan of Arcadia and Huff) before being featured on Living with Fran. Unfortunately, the latter was a post-Nanny vehicle for Fran Drescher, and hit the chopping block with two-short-season swiftness (26 episodes). She's been doing bit parts since, and has a movie, War Eagle, currently in production. So keep an eye on that Film Actress eligibility, and try to maintain your masturbatory gaze as she stares into your soul:

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Sexy Dead People

[16:08] TheQueenE: so i was going to do melanie griffith for figuratively but then i realized she was never that hot and she just went from ok to good god what the fuck is that.
[16:08] TheQueenE: hahaha isn't that funny

[16:09] TheQueenE: she's fugly

[16:09] TBB: haha

[16:09] TBB: hilarious

[16:09] TheQueenE: what is?

[16:10] TBB: hilarious that you bashed the fuck out of mel griffith

And so here it is …

Do you know who is worse than her? Antonio Banderas. Millions of gorgeous women want to be all over this sexy Latin man. HE MADE THIS CHOICE. No Spanish fly necessary. ¿POR QUE ANTONIO?

Who Antonio has been featured with:

Catherine Zeta Jones

Salma Hayek

Angelina Jolie

Rebecca Romijn

And who he chose:

LITERALLY

Bob Marley

Could this be love? Yes, Mr. Marley. I don’t EVEN want to know what I would have been like growing up in Jamaica while Bob was givin’ out his lyrical lessons. I have an idea. I would have been high but not dry, watching this sensual Rasta . Besides having such an intoxicating voice, Bob spoke the truth in his music, gave you something to really groove to (not some of this recent shit that is barely passing for reggae), and was more than easy on the eyes. If only he would have amputated his toe.

Bob said “no woman, no cry.” I’ll try.

Thank you, Bob Marley. RIP. Beautiful, beautiful Zion.

(Sidenote: Damian Marley/Junior Gong is my favorite Marley child. He is sexy and talented.
Did you know that Bob’s father was White?)

FIGURATIVELY

Cary Elwes

Do you remember when you used to watch The Princess Bride a couple of times a week and drool over Westley? Oh yea, that was me. Anyhow, Westley was a sexy man and I wanted him to save me and say “As you wish”, while we did naughty things and that guy who says “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die,” watched. (Inigo’s real name is Mandy. Hahahah Cary and Mandy. No freakin wonder.

Do you remember the time you watched Robin Hood: Men in Tights and said “Oh Shit! That’s that guy from The Princess Bride. Damn, he’s still sexy”? Hmmm ... was that me again?

Well how about when you went to see Saw (the movie that sucked sweaty elephant balls) in the theatre and you were vomiting either over the gore, or the acting - or both - and said “That ugly, fat, unconvincing actor with the 343 lbs of make-up on looks familiar,” and then halfway through the movie you figured out this man was Westley once upon a time, and you cried. Yeah, still me.

Not only was this the worst acting I’ve had to sit through but he was sooooooo unattractive I could barely make the connection. I prayed it was the make-up and googled him. Sure enough:

Yep. He's a squinty eyed, fat head, troll.

Thanks for the good years, Cary. RIP.

(Sidenote: Buttercup, aka Robin Wright Penn, is pretty cute .)

Don’t let ‘em fool ya…

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